Latest Funny One Liners

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

What would you call a woman who goes out with You? Desperate!

My mind is like a steel trap. Rusty and illegal in 37 states.

What did one autumn leaf say to another? I'm falling for you.

If a leper gives you the finger, do you have to give it back?

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.