Latest Funny One Liners

"You can't sleep either?" Says a voice from under your bed.

Why doesn't Santa have any kids? He only comes once a year.

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts.

Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a big rock.

If what you don't know can't hurt you, you're invulnerable.

How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months.