Latest Funny One Liners

Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture

Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, the chicken was somewhere between 8' to 11' tall

For once in my life, I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my penis

What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him

I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you