Latest Funny One Liners

Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said "concentrate"!

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich

What is live? Life is love. Whats love? Love is kissing. Whats kissing? Come here and I show you

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car

I named my hard drive "dat ass" so once a month my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'

The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but the fire trucks ruined it

Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation? Because she threw out all the bent ones.