Latest Funny One Liners

I'm pretty sure I'm going to die without knowing what 95% of a scientific calculator is used for

I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again"

Have a girl that everyone else dreams about, but don't dream about a girl that everyone else has

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it

The only reason the term 'Ladies first' was invented was for the guy to check out the woman's ass

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common "enemy"

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize" and "You are right.