Funny One Liners

What's the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it ...so I said "Implants?"

How do you know that Santa is a man? No woman wears the same attire every year

I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that

Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball