Funny One Liners

A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens the workday

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have a job. I just wish it wasn't THIS job

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens

If pink and glitter were vitamins blondes would be the healthiest people alive

If someone notices you with an open zipper, answer proudly: professional habit

If something goes wrong at the office, blame the guy who can't speak English...

Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die