Funny One Liners

If I wanted to get trapped in a scary maze, I'd just go into my kid's bedroom

Salary is like a period - you wait for it a whole month and it ends in a week

Everything becomes 100 times louder when you're trying not to wake someone up

Men mostly hate two words: 'not' and 'enough'... unless you say them together

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire

Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?