Funny One Liners

Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!

You've got two brain cells: one is in a wheelchair and the other one is pushing

In principle, I can stop drinking, the thing is - I don't have such a principle

Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar. I've been doing nothing for years

I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that mean that one enjoys it?

Adult: Someone who has stopped growing at both ends and now grows in the middle