Funny One Liners

Yesterday, I fell down from a 10 meter ladder. Thank God I was on the third step

Do I play fantasy football? Dude, I'm 46 and married. Most of my life is fantasy

The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy

Why do Retirees smile all the time? Because they can't hear a word you're saying!

Every time someone calls me fat I get so depress I cut myself... a piece of cake

If you have a shitty job, you probably shouldn't lick your fingers at lunch time

The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband