Funny One Liners

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck

What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks!

Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends

I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco

Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close

Five days of the week, my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park!