Funny One Liners

Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties? Because there is lots of school spirit!

Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews

Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it!

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad

What happened when the man fell in love with his garden? It made him wed his plants!

In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma - but never let him be the period

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it