Funny One Liners

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions which your wife asks for nothing

I'd like to start today by telling you how wonderful you are. I'd like to but...

We've heard that ignorance of maths is growing geometrically, whatever that means

What has eight arms and an IQ of 80? Four girlfriends drinking on St Patricks Day!

The best way to remember your 21st birthday, is not at all. Have fun blacking out

How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up

Why do midgets laugh while running through the yard? The grass tickles their nuts