Funny One Liners

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? Never lick the spoon.

Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps? Under his work boots.