Funny One Liners

I wanted to thank you personally for the like. That's why I'm in your house.

A wife is like a boomerang - the harder you throw the faster she comes back.

Why are most politicians in the closet or gay? Because they can only mandate.

What does a hockey player and a magician have in common? Both do hat tricks!

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!

The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.

What's the most popular pick up line in a gay bar? Can I push your stool in?