Top 10 Al Bundy One Liners & Quotes

I work in a shoe store and still I'm not happy to come home

I thought watching Opera is the first sign of a brain tumour

A fat woman sloshed into the shoe store today, said she was retaining water, I said not to worry about it. The dam of cellulite holding it back should keep us all high and dry for the next few years

Well Peg we all have to live with our disappointments. I, of course has to sleep with mine

Kids, why didn't you tell me it was your mother's birthday? I wouldn't have come home

Much like the hair on your legs, I need the help of a trained professional

What do women and dog doody have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pickup

The first dumbest move had to be when I answered your phone call the day after we had sex

No we can't Peg, because now when we make love, I don't get to go home

This woman comes in, and she is so fat, she actually has three smaller women orbiting around her