Chuck Norris wrote the Elder Scrolls
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Chuck Norris's alarm clock is a bear trap resting under his balls
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Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47
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Chuck Norris's computer doesn't have a "esc" key. No one escapes Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris's dog is trained to pick up its own poop because he does not take shit from any one
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Chuck Norris's dog once ran over a car
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Death once had a near-Chuck experience
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