Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night
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I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila
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I'm the type of person who tries to fall back asleep in the morning, just to finish a dream
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How do people lose their kids at the mall? Seriously, any tips would be greatly appreciated
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Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card? The thief was spending less then his wife
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I wish conversations were like user agreements where I could skip to the end and just agree
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Darling, will you catch me if I jump into the water?' 'Darling, if I say yes, will you jump?
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