Latest Funny One Liners

It's better to be a worldwide alcoholic, than an Alcoholic Anonymous.

What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry Ive got you covered!

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Annie." "Annie who?" "Annie body home?"

I'm an adult. I don't cry over spilt milk unless it has coffee in it.

The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last thing you do.

What part of a football ground is never the same? The changing rooms.

What's the difference between wife and a blue whale? About 10 pounds.