Latest Funny One Liners

What's the difference between men and government bonds? Bonds mature.

Oh, you're straight? Well, so is spaghetti until it gets hot and wet.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

The light at the end of the tunnel - are the front lights of a train.

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.