Latest Funny One Liners

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.

Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people would have a chance to have sex.

My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart.

I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.

What did God say after creating man? I must be able to do better than that.

Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.