Latest Funny One Liners

Everything has to be related in a woman: if the mouth shuts, the legs open.

If I ever need a heart transplant, I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.

You are so ugly when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.