Latest Funny One Liners

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stopped at 3 ho's.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? Never lick the spoon.

Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps? Under his work boots.

What's the height of conceit? Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.