Latest Funny One Liners

It's not a flaw to have a husband, but an essential drawback to have a wife.

Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear? Thanks for the refill.

I'm selling a parachute - just as new, used only one time, didn't open once.

If a person told you they were a pathological liar, should you believe them?

I wanted to thank you personally for the like. That's why I'm in your house.

A wife is like a boomerang - the harder you throw the faster she comes back.