Latest Funny One Liners

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.

There are drunk bikers. There are old bikers. There are NO old, drunk bikers.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone.

Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.