Latest Funny One Liners

What are the three words that men hate to hear during sex? "Are you done?"

How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Hang one in the front!

Girls are like internet domain names... the ones I like are already taken.

I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.

My wife and I had a two-hour fight about whether or not we were fighting.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months- I don't like to interrupt her.