Latest Funny One Liners

Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

What's a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.

I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.

Slept like a log last night... Woke up in the fireplace.

Secret: Something which is told to one person at a time.

I am on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.