Latest Funny One Liners

Girl: Why are you so ugly? Boy: I'm you from the future.

My five year plan? I don't even have a five minute plan.

For those who never forget a face, you are an exception.

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.

He's a recovering alcoholic: recovering from last night!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.