Funny One Liners

How about a month filled with stress and obligation? - Pitch for December

Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most? "Rude"olph

Hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do.

I sometimes watch birds and wonder "If I could fly who would I shit on?"

Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.