Funny One Liners

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Why did God put men on the Earth? Becuase a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.

I downloaded the Pinterest app and now my phone is stuck in a mason jar.

If a woman is cold as a fish, a man has to be as patient as a fisherman.

Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.

What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? Introduces themself.