Funny One Liners

There are all types of love in this world but never the same love twice.

What did the painter say to her boyfriend? "I love you with all my art!"

Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

What do blondes do after they comb their hair? They pull up their pants.

Computer does what you command him to do but not what you want from him.

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day? Cauliflowers!

What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date? Slow.