Funny One Liners

Man's appearance is not the most important thing. There are worse flows.

Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they are used to eating nuts!

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

If you get in the mood to do some work, someone will always wake you up.

Here's to alcohol, the cause of - and solution to - all life's problems.

A woman is like a suitcase: both hard to carry and a pity to throw away.

What happened when the dog went to the flea circus ? He stole the show !