Funny One Liners

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn't get a date.

Every day two million Americans play tennis and one million of them lose.

If you have worked and didn't get anything, it means someone else got it.

Men are like placemats, they only show up when there's food on the table.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception

Why did God create the orgasm? So women can moan even when they're happy.