Funny One Liners

When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in their ear.

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

Dating a single mother is like continuing from somebody else's saved game.

What are the three words women hate to hear during sex? "Honey, I'm home!"

Do you want to speak to the manager or someone who know's what's going on?