Funny One Liners

What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Married.

Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes? Because at 69 they blow a rod.

It is better to be on seventh heaven, rather than on the seventh month.

I saw a man yesterday who was so bald I could see what he was thinking.

Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

You are so tall in my eyes that they can't rise higher than your waist.

If breaks are meant to be slow... then why do they call it "breakfast"?