Funny One Liners

I've been running as fast as I can, but I still can't catch my breath.

What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.

People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.

I don't do different things... It's just that I do things differently!

Did you know that your body is made 70% of water? And now I'm thirsty.

If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.