Funny One Liners

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Annie." "Annie who?" "Annie body home?"

I'm an adult. I don't cry over spilt milk unless it has coffee in it.

The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last thing you do.

What part of a football ground is never the same? The changing rooms.

What's the difference between wife and a blue whale? About 10 pounds.

A real Don Juan has to dress not only tasteful but also very quickly.

It's scary to think that people like you are graduating from college.