Funny One Liners

You know you’re fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards.

How do you know when Santa's in the room? You can sense his presents.

Why are Fathers like parking spaces? The good ones are already taken!

Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.

What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much? He cracked up.

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.