Funny One Liners

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

The light at the end of the tunnel - are the front lights of a train.

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.

It's better to be a worldwide alcoholic, than an Alcoholic Anonymous.

What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry Ive got you covered!