Funny One Liners

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

What does a penis and an ego have in common? All men have one!

How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? He's breathing.

Take time to relax especially when you don't have time for it.