Funny One Liners

Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away.

What language are you speaking? Cause it sounds like bullshit.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

We must pay for the mistakes of our youth... at the drugstore.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone

How do you confuse a blonde? You don't. They're born that way!

What do Lifesavers do that a man can't? Come in eight flavors.