Funny One Liners

If your going to be two faced at least make one of them pretty.

To weigh 50 kilos and say that you're fat, that is so female...

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

Always wear high heels, it makes it easier to look down on him.

They call it "pms" because "mad cow disease" was already taken.

You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, "concentrate".