Funny One Liners

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.

Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one.

Being a hypochondriac is going to save my life one of these days

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.

I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle.

What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A thought.