Funny One Liners

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.

Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.

But do you know what 6.9 is? A good thing screwed up by a period.

Never argue with a woman when she's tired...or when she's rested.

Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.