Funny One Liners

A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

My mind wants to dance but my body is a really awkward white guy.

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

We never knew he was a drunk... until he showed up to work sober.

Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

Whenever you get mad, just think of a T-rex trying to masturbate.

Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?