Funny One Liners

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?

Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough.

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Losing a husband can be hard: in my case it was almost impossible.

A girl has to get in bed before 8 p.m. so she can come home at 11.

Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.