Funny One Liners

Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood.

Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head.

Men are fun to argue with, because even IF they win... they lose.

After the weekend the most difficult task is to remember names...

I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.

Men and women were created equal, but women continued to improve.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers.