Funny One Liners

It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.

Just remember ...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

She's so fat, she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.

Never laugh at your girlfriends choices... your one of them.