Funny One Liners

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.

He's a recovering alcoholic: recovering from last night!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

How do construction workers party? they raise the roof.

Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.

You know, you're not that bad looking -- for a fat-ass.