Funny One Liners

I feel like Tampax - at a good place, but wrong time...

Avoid arguments about the toilet seat...use the sink...

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!

If mummies are from egypt, then where are daddies from?

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

You're so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.